Anyway! It's been awhile since I posted, I'm alive! Barely that is!
Motherhood is kicking my ass. I was very blessed to have loads of help the first month of Jacob's life. My aunt flew in from Taiwan the first month, had occasional baby-sitting from grandma, lotsa food from relatives, food (mostly desserts hahaa) from good friends, and of course - help from my wonderful and dear husband - Chuperdaddy. With all this help, Chuperman and I were able to enjoy a few meals outside the house. Yup! We were able to sneak out of the house for a few nice dates=D
Me and my lil darling, baby Jacob=D
Immediately, after my 30-day confinement period was over - my aunt left us, the influx of home-cooked food dropped significantly, and Chuperman had to go back to work.
I am pretty much single-handedly take care of Baby Jacob myself. I know many mothers do so, but when you've had help, then suddenly you don't - it really sucks.
Nowadays, the food situation is pretty sparse. A typical day now includes something like cereal, yogurt, Costco pizza, and some fruit. I don't have time to eat. Eating is a chore now. When I get hungry, I have no choice but to ignore myself. I'm simply too exhausted.
I opted to nurse Jacob myself 24-7, which means feeding on-demand every 1-4 hours. It would be nice to go formula but I just won't. Mother's milk better be worth it!!
Btw, like eveything I do now - I'm typing w/ my free hand.
Completely sleep-deprived, drained, and having to take care of another human being - I really could use a couple of hours to myself here and there. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most challenging... motherhood, for me, has been a whopping 20. I knew motherhood was going to be incredibly challenging, but really didn't know that nursing was going to be this difficult. I am super blessed to be able to feed my child, but at the same time breastfeeding is a lot more challenging both physically and emotionally, than formula. Some adjectives that describe my b-feeding experience so far: painful, inconvenient, time-consuming. Please note that the first few months are the hardest - well, it better be! Because I feel like I'm drowning... and am turning into a zombie.
Help Wanted. I'm in a search for a nanny. Yeah, I know. It's so "OC" of me. So be it. Thanks C-note for the directory of nanny leads! I am thinking of going back to work part-time and I also have to work on publishing my thesis study into a scientific journal.
"It's worth it." This is what I keep on telling myself everyday since Jacob was born. All sarcasm aside, it truly is quite endearing to see Jacob grow bigger and bigger, making more and more expressions, smiling, and even laughing now. He's also quite active... Jacob is always moving his arms and legs, kicking and punching just like he did in the womb, he even travels in his sleep! I'd put him down at one end of the crib and a few hours later he'd end up at the other end of the crib! And, we also noticed that he's super alert and sharp. Chuperman and I couldn't be more blessed with such an adorable baby. Too bad Chuperman has a cold now. I pray that he doesn't get me sick or worse off - get Jacob sick!
Our lil piggy.... this pic is from a few wks back. Jacob has already changed so much since then!
Taking the edge off. Aside from my urge to scream my head off at least once a day, to take the edge off the trials of mothering a newborn - if I can help it, I drink a glass of Prosecco, champagne, or red wine, snack on some Pacific Whey oatmeal cookies, and if I'm lucky - a bubble bath or even a sulk in the jacuzzi.
I am SOO looking forward to a quickie vacay out in Rancho Mirage in a few weeks! I'm excited to attend the Pacific Life Tennis Open! =D
